THE WISDOM MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
By Linda Dupie

Motherhood, what does it mean? It means different things to all people, but to me it is love, trust, guidance, and communication. 

My mother passed along her wisdom about motherhood to me. She raised my sisters and I with this wisdom and said the lasting relationships she forged with us were more than she ever imagined they could be.

LOVE

I always knew my mother loved me. She said it and showed me each day of our lives together. As a child, I took her love for granted, as an adult who no longer has her mother I cherish it. My mother had the most influence on who I am today whether she knew it or not. I always swore as a child and teenager I would be nothing like her, but alas I hear her words tumble from my mouth everyday. I have discovered it’s not so bad to be a little like her.

While pregnant with my first child, my mother told me that love is unconditional from the start. It runs both ways, our children know this from the beginning and as mothers, we feel it while carrying them. My children are my greatest love, and I show them everyday, but not with material things. I use hugs, kisses and words. I praise them when they finish an art project or finally hit the ball after the 100^th pitch. I dry their tears when they attempt new things and don’t succeed, and praise them for their efforts. I say I love you and hug them any chance I get.

TRUST

The trust my mother and I had started when I was young. I was never afraid to tell the truth, even when I knew I would be grounded. She taught me that trust is earned by proving oneself over and over. I’ve tried to do the same with my children through my actions and words. I want my children to come to me with their problems without fear of what I might do or say. My children are young, but when a favorite vase was broken, they stepped forward and said they did it before I had to ask. They trusted me not to over react, I didn’t and my actions and words reinforced the trust I have in my children.

GUIDANCE

My mother was my guide and mentor. She taught me right from wrong she set boundaries I tested all the time and with each test, I learned that my actions had consequences. Now I am a mother, I see myself guiding my children, just as my mother guided me to set them on the right path. I am here to teach them right from wrong, set boundaries to show them their are actions have consequences. I teach them understanding, that each of us is special in our own way. I am my child’s first role model and it’s important that I treat everyone with respect with the hope that my children will follow my example, just as I have been following my mother’s example.

COMMUNICATION

What I remember most from childhood was always talking with my mother. It never mattered how silly the topic she was always interested in what I had to say. That is why talking with my children is essential for me. I drop what I am doing when they need to talk. Nothing is more important to me than what they have to say. I listen attentively and actively. I listen to everything they say before I ask questions or comment on the problem or situation. Because I don’t interrupt when they are talking, they usually listen when I speak.

With each day that passes, I am certain I am building a lasting, loving and trusting relationship with my daughters. It is difficult at times, as is anything that is worth having; I treasure every moment whether good or bad. All these moments define whom my children and I am.

Being a mother is what I treasure most in life, I wouldn’t trade any of it.